I wish I could've said something, or given you a hug, or maybe a simple smile or maybe just a thank you.

And now it's just too late.

I will forever miss you.

Said goodbye to Toshiba Global Recruitment. I don't know if it's the right decision, but I really don't feel my passion and direction for it. :(

Somehow I just don't feel it's the right choice.


I hope I don't regret this.

I'm in love with the wrong person.

F me.

Unspoken

I feel so misunderstood.

I'm surrounded by people who can be so judgmental.

Up to what extent would you listen to what other people are saying?

----------------------------------

I'm falling real hard, and you have no idea.

You'll probably never know.

I'm just so happy with you..-- it hurts to know that nothing will happen.

Oh well this is my curse.

Alive

It's amazing the comfort that you get from shedding much tears and spending almost the whole day and evening with the people who matter to you most. I've never felt so devastated and happy all in the same day.

I feel so alive. My heart has never beat this much for a while now out of emotions that feel so real.


I just realized today how human I am.

Insanity

WTF.

Lola's in the ICU.

This can't be happening. NOT NOW.


How can someone deserve this?

I told myself i'll try my best to always smile.

This just makes this more difficult.

:) :( :) :( :) :( :)

I'm insane.

Reopening for the nth time.

I always say that I want to start reusing this blog.

But why can't I finish









what I started.

Nakabibingi.

Nakabibingi.

Maraming nagsasalita, marami akong naririnig na tunog, ngunit wala akong maintindihan. Nakapanlulumong pilitin ang sariling maintindihan ang mga bagay na hindi (sa palagay ko) dapat pinag-uusapan. Masayang magkaroon nang paunti-unting kawalang-kahulugan sa mga pag-uusap. Pero kung parating kawalang-kuwentahan na lamang, nakakawalang gana makipag-usap at magsalita. So mabuti na lamang sigurong manahimik, at manood at bigyang kahulugan ang sarili na hindi kailanman maiintindihan ng iba.

Sa kasalukuyan, wala rin akong kamalayan sa kung ano nga ba ang dapat, kung ano rin ang hinahanap ko, o kung ano rin ang nais kong marinig. Puro kalabuan lamang ang laman ng katotohanan ko.


Kaya mainam marahil na manahimik at makinig at baka sakaling may marinig na rin ako.


----
Pagod na ako.

Kung alam niyo lang.

Mahirap pumasan ng mundo na hindi mo naman dapat pinapasan.

Introspection

"Anna, are you sad?"

I've been haunted by that question for the past 2 days now. After that signature analysis, I'm surprised at how simple strokes can have that much impact to my entirety.


Am I sad?

Maybe.

But I have glimpses of happiness in my life.

But is that enough?


Sometimes it really helps to hear it from other people for you to imagine how real it is. Sometimes you need other people to say it to you straight in the face because you'll realize that one of the hardest things to do is to face yourself and admit that there is something wrong. If it not for that night, I would've never known how much I've let my life pass by without me even noticing. It was a slap on the face, it hurts, yes, but feeling the pain makes the experience more real.

Now what's left, given that it's acknowledged, is to process and do something about it.

I just hope I find time to do this, fast.


Life's too short. Sayang ang panahon.

Reopening

I'm reopening this blogger account.

This will be epic.

This will be one of my feeble attempts to make sense out of this world, and maybe try to get a concrete sense of the escapist in me.

And maybe this is one of my attempts to bring back the cha that was lost in the midst of the chaos and the objectivities of life.


Welcome back chanthesse.