lalalalala.

i can't really figure out what i'm suppose to feel now that the year's almost over. it's hard to say whether it's been a better year for me.

525,600 minutes. come to think of it, once more, i was able to come past those number of minutes. wow, that's quite a number.

well, i've been through a lot this year. "been through" doesn't necessarily have to mean the "senti moments/hard times/challenging moments", hm.. it's more of a general thing...

but on more specific terms~

biggest surprise? hrm, i'd be wearing a gi sponsored by the ateneo. i had my doubts. but things came through. very surprising, and fulfilling at the same time. =)

major blow this year? (good or bad): er, the debut i guess. on the up side, i turned 18! i've reached the legal age, there's freedom, boys (ehem ehem!), drinking (er, kahit naman hindi ako 18 eh! hehe.), R-rated films (ehem ehem!), i could go on and on. down side? somehow, it wasn't the debut i pictured it to be. lots of disappointments. but i won't dwell on that. but the more down side is... i'm getting older!! who wants that?!

major loss? my tita passed away just weeks (or a week) before my birthday. up until now still can't believe that i'll never see her again. oh i just remembered, i'll be going to a reunion on january first and i won't see her there. sigh.

major realization(s)? the only constant thing in this life is change... and there is that indescribable joy coming from that four-letter word that starts with an L. ~&heart 8)

i've had my ups and downs this 2007. so, was it a better year for me or not?

hm~

i suppose it's a matter of perspective, that is, depending on what "aspects" you look at.

expectations and new year's resolutions for 2008? hrm, none of those this year. i suppose it'd be better (and fun-ner) with the unexpected-ness of it all.


five hundred twenty-five thousand six hundred minutes! lalalalala....


HAPPY 2008 EVERYONE!!!

isang munting mensahe.

ilang oras na lamang magpapasko na, kung kaya naman, ilang mumunting mensahe sa mga PINAKA-IMPORTANTENG tao sa buhay ko ngayon.


sa pamilya ko:
mahal na mahal ko po kayo. masaya ako na kapiling ko na kayong muli matapos ang matagal na panahong pagkawalay. hindi ako nakakauwi dahil sa dami ng ginagawa at ngayon, kahit dalawang linggo lamang ang inilaan sa akin, susulitin ko ang bawat segundo na kasama ko kayo. =)

sa block m/m1:
masaya ako sa naging pagbabago ng relasyon ko sa bawat isa sa inyo. masasabi kong higit akong naging malapit sa mga tao. nagpapasalamat ako sa isang masayang unang bahagi ng ikalawang semestre. sana higit pa tayong magsama sama. nais ko pang makilala ang bawat isa sa inyo =)

sa AJA family ko:
una muna, nais kong humingi ng tawad sa aking madalang na pagpapakita sa inyo. nataon na ang lunes na araw ng pageensayo ay natapat sa "lab" kung kaya naman isa o dalawang araw lamang sa isang linggo ko kayo nakakapiling. at kung araw naman ng sabado, kadalasang may "immersion" para sa "thelogy". at noong "christmas party sa covered courts", hindi na ako nakadaan dahil sa hindi inaasahang "buhol-buhol na traffic at sa long exam sa theology". ang pagkakataon talaga. sadyang mapaglaro. kung kaya naman patawad. "MISS" ko na kayong lahat. sana sa pagdating ng "2008", makabawi ako sa pagkukulang kong oras sa inyo. salamat, dahil kahit hindi ako gaanong nakikita, hindi naman dumating sa puntong "nawala" ako. maraming maraming salamat para roon. mahal ko kayo. =)

sa mga highschool batchmates ko:
"MISS" ko na kayong lahat. maraming taon na ang lumipas, at ikinalulungkot ko na isiping nagkakalayo na tayo ng mundo. marahil ay may kanya kanya na tayong buhay. sadyang mahirap tanggapin ang mga pangyayari ngunit sana magkaroon tayo ng panahon upang muling magtipon-tipon at magsama-sama. sana hindi pa natin nakalilimutan ang mga dating kasiyahang dulot ng ating pagkakaibigan. mahal ko kayo, at sana hindi pa nawawala ang "tayo" sa buhay ng bawat isa sa atin. =)

sa pamilyang GABAY:
masaya ako dahil nabigyan ninyo ako ng pagkakataon na muli kayong makapiling bilang isang organisasyon, at higit pa, bilang isang pamilya. maraming salamat. dahil sa inyo, mas naintindihan ko ang tunay na kahulugan ng pagtataya. mahal ko ang bawat isa sa inyo, at sana'y magpatuloy pa ang magandang pagsasamahan natin bilang mga Gabayano. =)

sa pamilyang ACheS:
nakatutuwang isipin na nakita ko ang isa sa mga dahilan upang mahalin ko ang kursong tinatahak ko ngayon. Ang ACheS ang nagturo sa aking makita na "there's more to Chemistry that meets the eye". maraming salamat sa pagbibigay sa akin ng pagkakataon na makilala ang bawat isa sa inyo. maraming taon pa ang pagsasamahan natin. mahal ko kayo at maraming maraming salamat. =)


MALIGAYANG PASKO INYONG LAHAT!

iba iba na tayo.

mahirap tanggapin na may kanya kanya na tayong mundo.

---

tao lamang ako.

---

at manhid ka.

---

ganoon ba kahirap ang humingi ng tawad?

---

hai. pride.

---

tigang mula sa kasawaing palad.

nakaiinis ang araw na ito.

naguumapaw ang sama ng loob dahil sa mga hindi inaasahang pangyayari.

hindi ko mahinuha kung ano ang mga naging pagkukulang ko.

wala naman akong iba pang maaaring sisihin sa mga nangyari ngayon.

ako lamang talaga.

ako.

hai.

ang hirap talagang tanggapin.

bawi.

babawi na lamang ako.

marami pang pagkakataon.

marami pang panahon.

...

sana.

random kung random.

hm, some "random" rants.

--
nagpapanggap ako.

nagpapakabulag kahit nakakakita.

nagpapakabingi kahit nakaririnig.

nagpapakasaya kahit malungkot.

nagpapakamanhid kahit nasasaktan.

--

malapit na ang pasko! well. sabik na sabik lang talaga ako. nagsimula na kasi ang caroling season, so puro practice na kami. eventhough it takes up a whole lot of my time, the stress and fatigue that may be felt every after practice night would always be overwhelmed by the personal joy of "service for and with others". wala lang. atenista by heart. (naks, pero proud to be talaga ako.) maybe i might consider a job as a social worker (ayan magsama tayo madam sa future occupation natin!). hehe.

mahilig lang din siguro akong umawit. masaya kasi ang feeling na nakukuha ang mga nota ng tama. masaya rin ang feeling na kasama ko ang mga kapwa gabayano (a.k.a. mga kaibigan ko). bonding moment din kasi iyon, at isang pagkakataon para makasama at makilala ang mga tao.

--

namiss ko ang judo at ang mga teammates and coaches ko. sobrang na"hook" kasi ako sa sport, at masaya ako sa piling ng aking mga teammates at coaches ko. makatotohanan (yes this is for you mich! hehe. i know you're laughing!)na marami talaga akong natutunan mula sa kanila (kahit hindi siguro obvious dahil tahimik "daw" ako. hehe. at hindi lang siguro ako ganon ka expressive sa ilang mga bagay), pero i owe a lot to these people. at marami pang panahon para matuto. wala lang. salamat.

--

nagsisimula na ang mga stressors sa buhay ko: well, may acads, maraming ginagawa sa extra-co, tapos mga problema sa social life at LOVE life, mga ilang problema sa pamilya, at siyempre ang personal na kabaliwan ko na rin. hai. ang hirap i handle. namiss ko na tuloy si bestfriend ko, yung transcendental holy mystery ng buhay ko (may hang-over pa ako sa theo. hehe. galing kasi ni jimenez eh.ang daming insights actually. pero na-feel ko na may grudge siya sa sciences at sa mga atheists. hehe.). naku, sana makapag usap na kami ulit ni Bestfriend. kahit na hindi ko Siya naririnig na sumasagot, mahalag na alam kong pinakikinggan Niya ako. sumasagot nga Siya pero hindi nga lang verbal ang kanyang medium. hai. miss ko na talaga Siya.

--

marami akong namimiss na tao. ewan ko ba. nadarama ko na ang layo na ng ilang taong pinahahalagahan ko. kala ko nandyan pa sila, kaso paglingon ko, wala na pala sila. hai. ang hirap din pala na naging mashadong attached noh? hindi naman sa nagreregret ako. nabigla lang ako. well, siguro nga meron kaunti, pero acceptance is the key.

--

mahirap pala magsakripisyo ng mga "bagay" na pinahahalagahan mo ng sobra-sobra. narealize ko siya ngayon.

--

inaantok na ako. kailangan kong matulog. ang aking eyebags! eye"MALETA" na! (hahaha, tawa ka naman sa joke ko! hehe.)

--

nagpapasalamat ako sa iyo. wala lang. natuwa ako. close na talaga tayo. :)

--

i feel that i've violated your trust. wala lng. ang sama ko. hai. sorry. pinilit kong itago. kaso, ang hirap pala. mashado siyang "a priori" (nyai, theo term na naman!!!).

--

hai. mahal ata kita. alam mo ba yun?

--

...

one question. no answer.

i have one question in mind for the past 3 weeks...

"ARE WE BUSY DOING THE RIGHT THINGS?"

wala lng. just got me thinking.

HAPPYness is a choice

I got tagged by kathy :)

The rules are easy, just post 10 things that recently made you happy! Then tag 10 people and force them to post this meme on their LJs (or blogger and multiply in this case). Because it is good. Everyone needs a little happiness once in a while.

1. my AJA family.

when i saw that i had to post 10 things that recently made me happy, this was the first one that came to my mind. i love this team, even more, this FAMILY. i've learned a lot of things with these people, and i'm glad that i've met each and every one of them. i have THE BEST COACHES, THE BEST TEAMMATES, THE BEST FAMILY. i'm hoping to know more about them, each one on a more personal note. i'm really glad i stayed. i chose this. and i'm HAPPY i did. it might not be obvious (because of my occasional silence), but i love them.. :)

2. sembreak

vacation can make anyone happy. especially the thought of one not doing anything, just bumming around. after what i've been through during the first semester, i'm glad it was over. it's time for a fresh start. and the sembreak's just the right time to do it. :)

3. HS friends

i admit, i missed these people a lot. maybe a number of things did change (ok, 'a number' may mean more than that). but still, i'm happy that we can still have a common ground. it was fun to hear 'us' laugh together again. HS was the less complicated times. and hanging out with these people was a temporary escape to the less complicated world. they made it seem simple. and im happy for that. :)

4. books

it's nice to read a good book. i haven't been able to do this for quite a long time now, well to read pocket books that is. of course i've read books during the course of the first semester but those were physics and chemistry books which were not that enjoyable. it's more relaxing to read books that don't require much of my analytical and computational skills. :)

5. UAAP and POF

i was meaning to post a separate blog entry about my UAAP and POF experience. but since this situation calls for it, i suppose i'll just say it here. i really had fun. competing wasn't the nerve-racking experience that i expected it to be. when i stepped on the mats, all the anxiety i had just vanished. it was just like randori in the dojo, but with a larger playing area, a ref, a crowd cheering at one side of the stadium, and not to mention opponents you don't know. during the UAAP, it was the first time i got to play with a person the same weightclass as mine, and it was more difficult since i wasn't used to playing with people my size. it was also then that i realized how matches in judo could end in just a few seconds. things happen really fast, and before you know it, you here the ref saying "IPPON!" without you even knowing.

it was something new, and i really learned a lot from it. :)

6. dormmates and blockmates

i might seem to give the impression to my blockies and roomies that i don't care much about them (again with the silence issue). truth is, i'm happy i'm with these people. they're the best. nuff said. :)

7. home

i missed my home a lot. as cliche as this may sound, there really is no place like home. :)

8. cake

hmm, i love cake! brings back a lot of memories. sinful, but delicious! :))

9. television

it's good to be more up to date with the things going on. i'm abusing my time with the boobtube. i'd be missing it come second sem, which is not faraway from now. :)

10. Napoleon, cheese sticks, and quail eggs. (not to mention the profuse amounts of chicken!!).

best party ever! i loved those illustration board-covered cheese sticks. :)


well im surprised i got to list down 10. :) hahaha. well, time to be happy! your turn zandra, patty, gerald, hannah, ren, katya, pia, margo, mimi, mich! i tag you! :)

naming 21 people.

got this from jihad's multiply! panakaw ah! hehehe. i had fun answering this. and ang masasabi ko lang, ang galing tsumempo ng tanong. hehehe. :P ~

Can you name 21 people you can think of right off the top of your head? Dont read the questions underneath until you write the names of all 21 people. Don't change the names you've written once you start answering the questions.

Ready, Start!

1. haizell
2. hazel
3. gerald
4. ace
5. hannah
6. benny
7. lean
8. kaira
9. margo
10. mela
11. albert
12. maylea
13. henson
14. leo
15. cleo
16. domeng
17. adam
18. gerry
19. cj
20. aj
21. charm


THE QUESTIONS

1. How did you meet 14?
- college. almost pareho yung course namin sa ateneo. well, by fate really. haha :)

2. What would you do if you never met 6?
- errr. next question!!!!!!! hahaha.

3. What would you do if 20 and 9 dated?
- that would be really weird coz aj is my brother and margo is my blockmate. haha. really weird. noooo. :))

4. Did you ever like 5?
- haha. yeah as a friend! roomie ko yun eh!! labshoo banhannahna!

5. Would 4 and 12 make a good couple?
- errr.. para silang 10. hehehe. err, masubukan nga. hehehe (peace guys! :D)

6. Describe 8:
- kaira is old. hahaha. joke lang. she's a true friend. luv yah kaira :D

7. Do you think 13 is attractive?
- siyempre si henson pa! he's drop dead gourgeous! lalo na kapag nagsosolve ng math! hehehe! luv yah henson! :D

8. Tell me something about 17.
- hm payat parin siya. sobrang makaDiyos. at i really really miss him!

9. Do you know any of 4's family members?
- err.. haha, oo, yung very distant cousin niyang si hannah! hehehehe. (yes blockmates, pinsan ni ace si hannah. sobrang layo nga lang.hehe)

10. What's 21's favorite color?
- errr, yellow? hm sorry sis. ang alam ko lang ayaw niya sa pink. hehe.

11. What would you do if 18 just confessed s/he liked you?
- si gerry? hahaha. i'd ask if he's serious, and tell him i like him too! heehee. :D

12. What language does 20 speak?
- english and tagalog. laking quezon city kasi siya eh. hehe, :)

13. Who is 9 going out with?
- err, meron ba? heheh :D

14. What grade is 16 in?
- second year college :D

15. When's the last time you talked to 13?
- hm i talked to him sa YM just a few hours ago. hm, but i last saw him and talked to him in the flesh nung October 12, 2007.

16. What is 2's favorite band?
- hm hindi ko alam eh. meron ba?... err, sori tol :D

17. Would you ever date 7?
- siyempre naman! hahaha. si lean pa! eh mahal ko yan eh! di ba sir?! lagot nga lang ako kay madam. hehehe. :P

18. Would you ever date 12?
- ofcourse! si maylea naman yun eh! but dont get the wrong idea! hehe. :D

19. Is 15 single?
- errr, cleo?.. hehe. i think it's complicated. ;P

20. What is 19's last name?
- lintag :D

21. Would you ever want to be in a serious relationship with 11?
- err, why not? di ba albert? :)

22. What school does 3 go to?
- ATENEO!!

23. Where does 15 live?
- hm, malapit lang sa SM north. i dont know how to describe the location eh. hehe.

24. What's your favorite thing about 10?
- hm, palagi siyang nakangiti! :) luv you mela! miss you a lot! :D

a list.

its semBREAK. instead of bumming out, i finally got around with a list of things to do before classes begin.

* [x] means ive accomplished something already. :) , [ ] means im almost there! haha.

[x] 1. mag-ayos ng gamit sa dorm.

[ ] 2. magpapayat. (hm, i don't know if its possible during the break. BUT its worth a shot! haha. i'm going to make history! haha.)

[ ] 3. wardrobe and hairdo change. (due to the unexpected approval of the dress code, i'm thinking about getting a new look, a new hairdo, and a new set of clothes to mix and match. errr, wish me luck?)

[ ] 4. driving school.

[ ] 5. magbasa ng HP book 7. (yes i know. im such a loser. haha.)

[x] 6. makatapos ng series. One Tree Hill would be nice.

[ ] 7. magswimming. (i wasn't able to do this during summer so i thought i give it a shot now. ang init kasi! tsk tsk. curse you global warming!!)

[ ] 8. save money. (there a lot of things i really want to spend some money on. i'll show you my list. but that's a different post altogether.)

[x]? 9. mag-"move on. (errrr...)

[x] 10. update my blogger.

[ ] 11. download songs. (im so behind the music industry. wala kasing tv sa dorm. may radyo naman, kaso puro old mellow songs ang pinakikinggan. i need to update my playlist!)

[ ] 12. have my laptop fixed. (curse the virus in ateneo. hm, anybody know a good anti-virus software?)

[x] 13. sleep! (i really need this before the next semester starts. kailangan ng pambawi eh. para lumiit naman muna yung eyebags ko before lumaki ulit.)

[ ] 14. PS2! (i missed my ffX/X2 and ff12.)

[x] 15. revive my text life. (i need to abuse my time. haha. i need to "connect" with lost friends. haha.)

[ ] 16. basketball. (what can i say, i missed it. :D)

[ ] 17. EK bonding with HS barkada (sana matuloy? tsk.)

[x] 18. karaoke time with my other barkada. (that was really fun! i really missed you guys. thanks. pics would be uploaded real soon! :D)

[x] 19. reunite myself with math, chemistry, and physics. (nerd! but i really need this.)

[x] 20. do something special for some special people.

[ ] 21. read a whole stack of books. (mostly were gifts from my debut. why do people love giving books during 18th birthdays? i really dont get that. im done with 2 books. a whole lot more to go.)

[ ] 22. judo. (i really need to improve my game.)

[ ] 23. mend broken relationships. (i'm getting there)

[x] 24. read the newspaper. (im way behind the current issues.)

[x] 25. boobtube! (i don't even know the new commercials. that's why kapag nagjojoke ang mga tao about a commercial or anything related to that, i usually end up raising an eyebrow. tsk.)

[x] 26. prayer time. (i used to have one, 15 minutes a day. but after the first semester, i got drifted apart from my relationship with HIM. i really miss HIM.)

[ ] 27. finish this list. :)


hm, 27 is quite a number. hm 12 out of 27. not bad.

well, semBREAK's still a long while. so there's still hope for me.

a lot.

i'm looking forward to a productive semestral break.

there are a lot of activities i've been planning to do.

there are a lot of things i've been meaning to change.

there are a lot of experiences that i've been hoping to forget.

there are a lot of regrets that i've been struggling to accept.


with only four sentences of things set out, it seems like an easy task.

but it only seems so.


-------


i miss you (may refer to not only one person.).

considering that it's only been two days.

i cant, cause i can.

only two weeks left. two weeks of hell. i can feel the pressure piling up, with all the online journals that ive been reading, which coincidentally, all have a common theme. everybody's struggling. most of my friends are complaining about their hell weeks (or maybe just trying to get by them, coz complaining cant really do anything), and most of my teammates are anxious about the UAAP. i cant say i dont feel the same way.

im dead nervous about the upcoming UAAP. just a few days left, with only 4 training days. everything's going to be even harder. ive come this far. there's no turning back.

requirements are beginning to pile up. i have two weeks to change the path of a whole semester, to make it turn in another direction, a more successful one that is.



emotions are, and will be, pouring. but i need to focus. i cant let the sadness creep into me. i cant let fear overcome myself.




sigh.



enough about depression. enough about darkness. enought about drama.


time to move on. time to accept reality.






i cant falter. not now.

i need answers.

hai.

how do you handle depression?

how do you stop being a pessimist?

how do you overcome loneliness?

how do you fight your fears?

how do you enjoy life?

how do you not lose friends?

how do you discover yourself?

how do you forget the past?

how do you stay in the present?

how do you ready yourself for the future?

how do you stay faithful?

how do you stay alive?

--------

ang daming tanong.

anong sagot?

i miss...

i miss basketball.


i miss my friends.


i miss myself.


i miss you.

mirrored.

another set of rants after a loooong break from the fifth estate.

---------
we all have our own sets of priorities. we all have our own worries and concerns in life. its funny how people would stress themselves out on some things that seem not so important to me, but astonishingly, are matters of life and death to them. looking at how the human mind works, im amazed at how complicatedly diverse one individual's mind is compared to other equally intelligent minds (how can one say that one mind is equally intelligent with another?.. haha. anlabo.). im not humoring other people's grievances, its more of a realization for my part.

my closest friend has been ranting all out about global warming, and im ashamed to say that i have been really insensitive to give her seethes the slightest of interest. ive always busied myself with the things that i deemed to be in favor of my own interests. but ive realized that i have been so selfish. not only did i neglect the society's need for clean and breathable air, not to mention the polar bears, i have also been insensitive to my friend. i confess, at first i felt that maybe it was a little bit dense, but then after much pondering, i finally came into my senses. my friend confiding me her thoughts, whether it be about the strangest and most non-sensible thing on the planet, it still proved a lot on how she trusted me even with her wackiest and most unbelievable thoughts. its not that im reading too much between the lines of her true intentions, but bottom line is, im supposed to support her. hey girl, if ever you're reading this, im sorry. i listen, i always do. especially now. i know its been hard. the earth will make it. (for your global warming issues), but more importantly, YOU 'll make it (for all other reasons too. :D)hey, im here. ayt?).

---------

Wired signals could be just a drag. sometimes you get the wrong messages, or sometimes, you just dont get the message at all. i hate wired signals, whether it be coming from telecommunication networks, or people's own line of networking and interaction (especially coming from the opposite sex.).

---------

psychologists say that dreams are caused by your subconscious, meaning thoughts, people, things, events that have or you percieve will have an impact to you. it could range from something you fear and hate most, or something you crave and want most.

thing is, i dreamt of YOU last night. i dreamt of us being so close to each other, that it felt too real, i didnt want to open my eyes. but i woke up. i found my mind drifting off that night, wondering what it all meant. there would always be a thin (or may be thick ?) line between a dream and the reality. i just hope i realize where im at soon. or maybe ive realized it, but im too afraid to admit it. (ok so now im confused.tsk.)

--------

those dots mean more than you think.

tsk. im so insecure right now.
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and alone.
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i just hope THEY noticed.

i'll give you the numbers.

stats for the 6 day "mini-sembreak/vacation":

rating out of 10, 1- lowest, 10- highest:

productivity level: 3
i can say that im not completely unproductive for the past 6 days. well ive managed to plan several things for the upcoming hell weeks. i got to spend time with my family. and i successfully opened my physics and chem book. and not to mention my accomplishment of actually finishing one series (sabrina the teenage witch, what can i say, i missed the old days, i needed to watch something that would lighten my view about teenage life. although i wish i also had my finger to make life a little bit easier for me. haha.).

gluttony level: 9
i cant give myself a 10 for this one! haha. eventhough ive been eating A LOT, i still have the conscience to run up and down the stairs, move around the house with a broom on one hand, and a cone of ice cream on the other. ahaha. *laughs at the corny, but true, confession.

hygiene level: 2
i would rather not elaborate on this. im a mess. next!!

hair-growth level: 5
i would like to clarify that the hair growth im pertaining to here is on my head (for those people who have other things in mind.). i guess hair grows at a high rate during the hibernating season. (refer to post about "buhok")

stress level: 1
it may seem to be too unbelievable, but my stress level has gone down. i guess that's what happens when you're with your family, in the comfort of your own couch and bed, with nothing else to think about except what you're going to eat next! this reflects a great deal about my priorities. despite the upcoming examinations for next week, instead of spending the whole weekend 'nerding' myself out, i opted to relax and enjoy the time with my family. and besides, i do think i need a rest. i suppose, i deserve it. *shushing the voice in my head saying "you should've studied, you irresponsible student.". (im trying really hard to convince myself that i did the right thing. too late for regrets, i think?)

assessment:
i had a blast! thank God! :)

because i chose/choose to.

rainy season once more. raindrops fall as the gloomy atmosphere pattern with my gloomy and fatal being.

----

lately ive been seeing myself, and myself only, no one else. i guess this proves how much of a loner i am. i remember my friend (or so i think he is) telling me that "pinili mo naman na lumayo eh.". it wasnt a choice, or maybe it was. it was a choice since i did agree to such a setting but then it wasnt because i there wasnt a choice to begin with (its obvious that i am very much confused at the moment.).

but then, come to think of it, i do choose to not be a part of a world full of lies. i dont want to be in a circus full of clowns with face paint covering them, as if it would hide the truth. i dont want to live in a world lacking with substance, lacking the insight that i need. i would rather stay silent in the midst of pretentious laughter and bitter merriment.

but then leaving the world would not mean leaving the people in it. i guess, there may be some whom i choose to leave behind permanently, because i do honestly, and sincerely feel that i have no impact on their lives whatsoever, and i believe that i have made the biggest mistake of letting them enter mine. but still there are still those whom do not belong to that world, but maybe they are just tourists, visiting for a while. maybe they'd choose to come back home, the way i chose to leave.

----

ive realized that ive made a lot of choices in my life. and these choices have caused evident changes. but then, i choose not to regret them, because in the end, regret would lead me nowhere.



*oh no, this post has got to be one of my worst. sorry.

ang buhay ay parang buhok.

nagpagupit ako ng buhok.

kailangan ko kasi ng panibagong hairdo.

ang buhok, kapag napagupitan na, hindi na maaaring ibalik.

unless magpapa'extensions' ka. pero ayoko nun, mashadong artipisyal.

kaya ang buhok, kung nais mong bumalik sa dati, kailangan ng panahon, para tumubong muli. ang ibig sabihin, matagal-tagal pang panahon ang dapat kong hintayin, bago tumubo ang buhok ko kagaya ng dati.

parang buhay. hai.

paalam buhok. hihintayin ko ang iyong muling pagtubo.

*kayo na bahalang umintindi. hehe.

akalain mo.

hai. namimiss ko na ang feeling na kinikilig.

haha.

wala lang! random thought!

mashado na kasing busy sa school work eh!

hai.

love life.

:)